Once Upon A Time…Incursion into “Banen” Land

Once Upon A Time…

Incursion into the “Banen” Land

“Marriage is an institution”. This statement is true everywhere and Banen people are no exception. They are found in the Centre Region of Cameroon Department of Mbam Inoubou.  The first stage for two people who want to get married is the bride price. This is paid by the husband in two phases: the “knock door” and the bride price properly. The “knock door” is the first phase. The future husband meets his in-laws in order to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage. It is during this acquaintance that part of the bride’s family makes the list of items to be given during the bride price day proper.

5 tips for a successful “knock door”

• Bring little gifts (wine, wrappers…) to be offered to the representatives of the bride’s family;
• Be patient: your in-laws will be glad to see how attentive you are. They might take all their time to see if you will get on your nerves. Stay calm and nod your head in agreement when necessary;
• Choose your words carefully: when you are given the opportunity to speak, choose your words with care. Make sure you express the interest you have in your future bride and how valuable she is to you;
• Be cheerful: you should be relaxed. If you are tensed, your in-laws will see it and they may decide that you are too irascible to marry their daughter;
• Listen to your elders’ advice: during the “knock door”, the man is accompanied by some male members of his family (father, uncle, cousins…) who are older than him. They have experience and can advice him to make sure everything goes on adequately.

While the future husband and his family members are discussing with part of the bride family, other members, the older men, are setting up the list of items constituting the bride price proper. Usually, the man is allowed to take his bride only after providing the items required. However, it may happen, in case the man behavior was extremely pleasing to the bride’s family that he is allowed to leave with his bride after the “knock door”.

After the bride price issue and the planning, the D-day arrives.

Is My Wedding Day

Every young girl dreams of this day and she wants it to be perfect. However, in a context where traditionalism prevails, how to adequately melt tradition and modernity?

7 trends for a beautiful “hybrid” wedding

• The bride bouquet: forget about artificial flowers. They are cold and their use seems to date back to centuries. Go for some colorful roses, for example, it is joyful, beautiful, lively;

• Flowers in the hall should be fresh and colorful as well, nothing artificial;
• The dress at the council ceremony can be a mix of African material and satin. For example, if the material is blue, the pockets and the collar of the husband’s shirt, as well as the sleeves and the waistband of the bride’s gown, can be made of a similar blue satin;
•  The car(s), for the wedding procession, are decorated with the same flowers like the ones in the bride’s bouquet and the party hall. This promotes unity and gives the guests a feeling of good organization. Flowers should be mixed carefully in order to avoid bad taste;
• Another trend is theme party. For a successful theme wedding party, make sure your guests receive the invitation weeks before the date so they can prepare accordingly. Go for joyful themes like cinema, color-theme (Eg: black and white, purple…) than for far-fetched ones that might create an undesired atmosphere;
• The spouses opening dance: go for a mix of different songs (both traditional and modern dances) rather than for a single song. It is out-dated and less captivating;
• For couples with child (ren): involve your child (ren) in the ceremony and make them participate. Your child can bring the rings to the altar (church or council). He/she can sing or dance something well prepared at the party. Children’s innocence always brings a fresh ambiance and a lot of emotion.

You are set for a trendy, beautiful and unforgettable wedding day. Still not satisfied, looking for that plus to make your wedding unique, here you are (don’t mention).

6 tips to make a unique wedding

• Do not go for the usually rented halls: in Banen land, the party is held in the bride’s home and the couple is later on accompanied to their home. Using a home rather than the usually impersonal rented halls is more warm and welcoming;
• Match the material of your dress with the one on the chairs;
• During the party, change dresses (traditional) in order to show your culture richness. This should not be done in one go. The guests should not be bored, they should be entertained;
• When possible, involve all the parents for the opening dance, that is after the traditional mother-bridegroom and father-bride dance, bride’s mother-bridegroom and bridegroom’s father-bride can dance together as well;
• Reserve a space to snap your guests as they enter your home, edit these pictures using frames expressing what you feel for each guest and create a nice and recreational album;
• Apart from the wedding cake, you can have a traditional delicacy like the “pistachio nut cake” that you can sell by auction as it is usually done with the wedding cake.

Now that you know all the trends and invaluable tips, you are set for an unforgettable wedding day. All the best!